Kaiapoi Draught

Kaipoi Draught
Diary entry #83, Kaipoi Draught

Oh, I’m so sad I entirely lost the photo for this… this, thing. It turns out I never even added it to my ‘Beer Nerd Diaries’ on Facebook, back when that the world’s window into my beerbrain. Perhaps I was just embarrassed.

(I’m only slightly sad that I apparently can’t spell Kaiapoi, even when the beer label was staring me in the phiz. I’ve long since comes to terms with that fact that, for a Trivia Nerd, my New Zealand Geography is relatively rubbish.)

A case of this arrived with the traditional Massive Swag of Stuff before the beer festival in August, and a good many of these were still in the fridge six months later. Perhaps owing to the laughably-homebrewish label that I so very much wish I could show you. It was a beer from another time, it seemed, one when ‘No Added Sugar’ was something worth bragging about rather than a minimum condition for the merest scrap of credibility.

Malthouse blackboard, my birthday
The Malthouse blackboard, on my birthday, indicating my apparently-preferred Draught

It smelt utterly awful, and tasting alarmingly… nothing. One really does wonder how they managed that. Or, indeed, why. Two local boys were over the moon to see that we stocked it, but had the dignity to have that classic hometown combination of embarrassment and pride as they insisted Peter and I try it. I’m glad we did, because I’m just that much of a masochist / empiricist, but honestly, I’d rather a Tui,1 if I ever found myself in the mood for something of the style.

Verbatim: Kaipoi Draught 25/3/09 nicked from Malty 330ml Been in the fridge since Beerfest in September. Two boys from Kaipoi insisted we try. Smells like arse, or silage. Doesn’t taste too bad, because not much at all. “No added sugar” and all that sad branding. And “draught”. Hrmph. What a word in need of retirement.


1: A few months later, some mischievous staff — on the occasion of my 30th birthday, and of DB winning an award in their class for it — amended my “Staff Pick” on the Big Blackboard to Tui. I decided just to own it, and insist that people actually give it a go, for its historical oddness.

Theresianer Pale Ale

Theresianer Pale Ale
Theresianer Pale Ale

Another Italian beer, and one I’d had before, with an altogether brilliant dinner at La Casa here in town, a while back. It’s an appealing bright orangey colour, and definitely has appropriately citrussy twangs in the nose and the taste. It’s a bit boozy, at 6.3%, and has a slightly metallic zing to it which just comes across as refreshing, not irritating.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: Metal is such a weird flavour to pick up, but it is pretty distinctive. Usually, it’s bad, bad news — my usual citation is Beck’s, which (when had on tap in Melbourne occasionally) just tasted, to me, like biting down hard on a wet stainless steel butterknife. But here’s me singling it out as a “not in a bad way” thing. Which does weird me out, in hindsight.

This beer in particular probably did get a lot of Circumstantial Points, given the awesomeness of the dinner it originally accompanied. But beer is like that, and there’s no reason it shouldn’t be.

Theresianer Pale Ale
Diary entry #82, Theresianer Pale Ale

Verbatim: Theresianer Pale Ale 24/3/09 @ home, Mt Vic. 330ml 6.5% Had another La Rossa the other day, so more Italian. I had this at La Casa with Kylee a while back, too. Nice amber, grunty, floral, slightly metallic, but refreshingly. Citrussy and fun. Good stuff.

Moa ‘St. Joseph’

Moa 'St. Joseph'
Moa 'St. Joseph'

Moa brewery in Blenheim is the work of Josh Scott, son of winemaker Allan Scott. And it really does have a significant “wanky side-project of spoilt rich kid” air about the whole thing. The beers are particularly expensive, nobbishly marketed — and unforgivably naff all too often. I suppose when you’re charging an arse and a head for your beer, you have to make sure it’s mild enough that people won’t hate it. Really, it’s a clever corner of the market to go for, too; wealthier people with pretensions of boutique beer-ery, but who are still Heineken drinkers at heart.

All that said, ‘Saint Jo.’ is pretty much the exception to the rule. It’s a nice little Tripel, and is very-definitely the pick of the bunch.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: Heh, there’s your ‘balance’. “Ranty-ranty-rant — but this is okay.” But it’s sincerely meant, still, even after Moa have expanded their range with a few more properly-worthy offerings like some genuinely-interesting barrel-aged beers. Aspects of the marketing are massively annoying; I’ve been considering using their stuff for a whole post of Please Don’t Do This points about beer branding. And the ‘First Three’ (the ‘Original’ lager, the ‘Blanc’ wheat, and the ‘Noir’) are terribly bland for their price — and what isn’t ‘bland’ about them is a worryingly-distinct Moa Funk that it takes their heavier beers to cover up / avoid / compensate-for.

Though there are some exceptions, the Moa Beers are — in general, and so far — a depressing triumph of brandwank over substance.

Birra Moretti ‘La Rossa’, again

Birra Moretti 'La Rossa'
Birra Moretti 'La Rossa'

We were out for a surprise birthday dinner for Robyn’s 30th, where I got to play beer nerd / consultant, and couldn’t resist another La Rossa — especially since they had the cute little glass.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: This was a great little night out, and one of the unexpected benefits was meeting Jessie and Simon, two friends who have since hooked me up with several good beer recommendations and joined me for some enjoyable Rambling Time. Jessie’s from California, within “crawling distance” (as she puts it) of the Sierra Nevada brewery. So I’m going to run a bit of a Local Stuff Beer Tasting for her family (including her apparently-formidably Beer Nerdy father) when they’re in town later this month.

The lesson is this: you do meet good people when you let yourself geek out. Be not afraid to let your nerdlight shine, fellow nerds.

Emerson’s ‘Taieri George’

Emerson's 'Taieri George'
Emerson's 'Taieri George'

One of Emersons’ seasonal releases, this one comes out each year in honour of Mister Emerson Senior’s birthday. He’d be the George in the name, it also being a punny nod to the fact he was involved with the Taieri Gorge railway. It’s a great big yummy dark ale, significantly spicy (they admit to nutmeg and cinnamon, but won’t be drawn on the secret third), and a good bit boozy (at 6.8%) — absolutely perfect for just when the days are turning colder.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: The usual tasting note for this stuff is that it’s ‘liquid hot cross buns’, and it certainly arrives with roughly Easterish timing. But I really despise hot cross buns — not just for, you know, theological reasons — and I love this to bits. So your mileage may vary. Certainly don’t let the comparison put you off, if it does.

Emerson's 'Taieri George'
Diary entry #81, Emerson's 'Taieri George'

I compared the delicious ‘Her Majesty’ by Yeastie Boys to this, and the pairing also shows you just what work yeast and malt can do if you cleverly pick your pairing and regularly crack the whip; the Yeastie Boys brew didn’t have any actual spices in it but still gets itself an awesomely-multi-faceted shape like this has.

I also had this beer with (and went to Watchmen with) my friend George. I have literally no idea how that coincidental alignment of beer names and people names went un-noted. I’m usually all over that stuff, to a relatively-pathological degree.

Verbatim: Emerson’s Taieri George 10/3/09 $12 @ work 6.8% 500ml Released a few days ago, and had before heading off to Watchmen. It’s got a cute story, and it’s always gorgeous. Big and dark with ruby highlights, super smooth and silky, spicy and warming. Loveliness.

Epic ‘Mayhem’

Epic 'Mayhem'
Epic 'Mayhem'

I’ve said some nasty things about Epic in the past, so in credit-where-due spirit, Mayhem is awesome. It’s one of a few variant editions of the Epic Pale, and addresses all of that beer’s shortcomings nicely. It’s vastly maltier and ‘beerier’ in the body (and a bit boozier too, as a result) and is thereby much better balanced. But it’s still astonishingly hoppy and aromatic, with New Zealand-developed Riwaka hops in there alongside the usual American Cascade — so the big hop notes aren’t just striking in one place like they do in the Pale. To re-purpose Epic’s particularly-stupid marketing phrase, this really Just Tastes Bigger, in all directions, and is vastly better for it. But more importantly than merely being “better” than the Pale Ale, this is, on its own merits, bloody lovely.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: I remember liking liking this, if you follow what I mean. I really grumped about the Pale Ale, partially because it was so absurdly popular — hailed as the best-ever by any number of otherwise-plausible people, when I thought the most you could say in its favour was that it was a well-made example of that intentionally off-kilter hop-nonsensed sort of beer. Stunt beer. Boy racer beer, as my colleague Ben used to say. It wasn’t badly made, it was just boringly flashy and it mystified me that so many people had it as their standby everday ‘session’ beer. I like those beers sometimes, but worried about how, if you drank it all the time, your tastebuds must resemble an apocalyptic wasteland — and whether that was the cause of the Epic-sessioning, or its effect.

Epic Pale Ale changes notice
Epic Pale Ale changes notice

In fairness, Epic Pale has massively improved. There was one horror-batch as the malt in the recipe was changed around in Luke’s absence, but after that things stabilised nicely and the beer became considerably more drinkable, I thought. If anything, now the real irony is that Tuatara’s APA — designed fairly shamelessly as a bandwagoning local-sales-stealer — is just that bit better yet; it’s certainly less one-note and more balanced. Epic Pale was necessary to push people in this hoppy direction, but is now in danger of watching its students become its master, perhaps.

Epic 'Mayhem'
Diary entry #80, Epic 'Mayhem'

Verbatim: Epic Mayhem 19/2/09 380ml 6.5% $9 @ Malty. After nasty words about the Pale, this is great. Much maltier underneath and with the passionfruity Riwaka hop alongside the US Cascade. So deeper and wider. Actually balanced, still remarkably hoppy. Altogether very good.

Brugge Tripel

Brugge Tripel
Brugge Tripel

I’d wandered into work on a day off mostly taken up by mooching around town running various errands. Just as I plonked myself in my usual spot at the bar, Scotty opened one of these by mistake, the customer apparently actually wanting its ‘Blonde’ sibling but not managing to properly articulate their decision — so I had this as a freebie to try, in the spirit of not letting something pointlessly go to waste.

It’s a Belgian strong golden ale, but not one I can really recommend. For the price tag, it just seemed a bit… naff — so I’m extra-glad the price tag didn’t apply, in my case. Have a Tuatara Ardennes, or a Moa St. Joseph if you’d like something local and similar, or hell, just have a Duvel if you’d like the real deal. It’s just better, somehow. The Brugge Tripel just seems a bit, thin — like they’ve candy-sugared it up too much. It does — at 8.2% — pack a sly boozy punch, though, I can tell you that.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: Just about the only thing I can give this beer credit for, now, is inspiring me to rewatch In Bruges. Pretty limp praise-by-assocation is the best I can manage; this beer was a real let-down from what I was hoping for, and against what I’ve liked in other examples of its style.

Three Boys Golden Ale, again

Three Boys Golden Ale
Three Boys Golden Ale, again

This made for a nice finish to a civilised and therapeutic afternoon / evening of good beers and good books, and is still my front-runner for Beer of the Summer ’08/’09.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: I really do love this beer to bits. It’s in the Diaries a few times, and the arrival of several kegs of it at work this weekend considerably helped my Calm in the face of the impending nonsense of the Rugby Sevens. Though it’s easily the daftest few days of the year here in the City, if you ask me, we somehow dodged a bullet this time round and had a surprisingly manageable few days. Only one person was ejected from the bar all weekend, which is astonishing for a bog-standard Friday or Saturday, nevermind ones as busy as these were — it was our busiest weekend ever on Courtenay Place — with their oodles of costumed weirdos flooding into town.

Myself, I’m putting it down to the civilising power of all that Three Boys Golden Ale we had stacked up out the back. This could quickly turn me into a superstitious oddball, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather have as my own peculiar rabbit’s foot.

Timothy Taylor’s ‘Landlord’

Timothy Taylor's 'Landlord'
Timothy Taylor's 'Landlord'

The timing of this is somewhat ironic, since I’m house-hunting. But I’d been meaning to have one for ages — and having beers for ‘punny’ reasons has always been a habit of mine. It’s a ‘Strong Pale Ale’, but they mean in terms of flavour, not booze. It’s golden, with a very herby, hoppy, grassy nose. Zesty and lively in the body, with a nice long finish, and a good solid presence in the taste, as opposed to the subtler Pedigree I had before it, but it’s still hugely drinkable.

The fraction that made it into the photo is ambiguous, but I’m fairly sure that’s Nation by Terry Pratchett that I was reading. You should, too; it’s very good.

Timothy Taylor's 'Landlord'
Diary entry #79, Timothy Taylor's 'Landlord'

Afterthoughts, February 2011: We couldn’t get this at work for ages; no one was importing it any more. It was probably the most asked-after of beers in that category for months. And then, recently, we got a dozen dozen. Which was fun for me to stack away, as it always is. We’re motoring through them.

Verbatim: Timothy Taylor’s Landlord 9/2/09 500ml 4.1% $12 @ Malthouse.  Strong pale ale. Flavourful, not booze. Golden, with a herby, hoppy, grassy nose. Zesty + lively in the body, with a nice long finish. Good solid presence in the taste, as opp. the subtle Pedigree, but still hugely drinkable.

Marston’s ‘Pedigree’

Marston's 'Pedigree'
Marston's 'Pedigree'

A classic English ale, with a nice old-school bent in that they still use a peculiar system of oak casks all piped-together for the brewing, which does give it definite woody undertones, especially late. It’s a nice light amber, starts smooth, and is generally easy-going, understated, but rewarding. Lots of subtle little flavours drifting up as you go, making for an enjoyably complex sipper. It’s also got the solid minerally-ness that comes from the Burton water, and became a characteristic of the stronger, hoppier India Pale Ales, when they were developed.

Afterthoughts, February 2011: In another instance for the Strange Timing files, I’m just getting back on to the archival-uploads task bang on two years after I first had this. I still have fond memories of this beer, and have had a couple in the intervening time. So sedate, and worth spending time with.

Marston's 'Pedigree'
Diary entry #78, Marston's 'Pedigree'

I love that the label says “Official Beer of England”, too. A wonderfully over-reaching marketing effort, since they mean “of the English Cricket Team”.

Verbatim: Marston’s Pedigree. 9/2/09. 500ml 4.5% $11 @ Malthouse. Classic English ale, brewed in a weird old oak cask system, and it shows. Very woody undertones, especially late. It’s a nice light amber, and has a smooth start. Easy-going, understated but rewarding. With the Burton water mineral note.

Tastings and ramblings and whatnot